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- I. Part 1
- She rose in moonlight, and stood, confronting sea,
- With her bare arms uplifted,
- And lifted her voice in the silence foolishly:
- And her face was small, and her voice was small.
- 'O moon!' she cried, 'I think how you must tire
- Forever circling earth, so silently;
- Earth, who is dark and makes you no reply.'
- She only heard the little waves rush and fall;
- And saw the moon go quietly down the sky.
- Like a white figurehead in the seafaring wind,
- She stood in the moonlight,
- And heard her voice cry, ghostly and thinned,
- Over the seethe of foam,
- Saying, 'O numberless waters, I think it strange
- How you can always shadow her face, and change
- And yet never weary of her, having no ease.'
- But the sea said nothing, no word at all:
- Unquietly, as in sleep, she saw it rise and fall;
- And the moon spread a net of silver over the foam.
- She lifted her hands and let them fall again,
- Impatient of the silence. And in despair,
- Hopeless of final answer against her pain,
- She said, to the stealthy air,
- 'O air, far traveler, who from the stars are blown,
- Float pollen of suns, you are an unseen sea
- Lifting and bearing the words, eternally.
- O air, do you not weary of your task?'
- -- She stood in the silence, frightened and alone,
- And heard her syllables ask and ask.
- And then, as she walked in the moonlight, so alone,
- Lost and small in a soulless sea,
- Hearing no voice make answer to her own,
- From that infinity, --
- Suddenly she was aware of a low whisper,
- A dreadful heartless sound; and she stood still, --
- There in the beach grass, on a sandy hill, --
- And heard the stars, making a ghostly whisper;
- And the soulless whisper of sun and moon and tree;
- And the sea, rising and falling with a blind moan.
- And as she faded into the night,
- A glimmer of white,
- With her arms uplifted and her face bowed down;
- Sinking, again, into the sleep of sands,
- The sea-sands white and brown;
- Or among the sea-grass rustling as one more blade,
- Pushing before her face her cinquefoil hands;
- Or sliding, stealthy as foam, into the sea,
- With a slow seethe and whisper:
- Too late to find her, yet not too late to see,
- Came he, who sought forever unsatisfied,
- And saw her enter and shut the darkness,
- Desired and swift,
- And caught at the rays of the moon, yet found but darkness,
- Caught at the flash of his feet, to fill his hands
- With the sleepy pour of sands.
- 'O moon!' he said: 'was it you I followed?
- You, who put silver madness into my eyes? --'
- But he only heard, in the dark, a stifled laughter,
- And the rattle of dead leaves blowing.
- 'O wind! --' he said -- 'was it you I followed?
- Your hand I felt against my face? --'
- But he only heard, in the dark, a stifled laughter,
- And shadows crept past him. with furtive pace,
- Breathing night upon him; and one by one
- The ghosts of leaves flew past him, seeking the sun.
- And a silent star slipped golden down the darkness,
- Down the great wall, leaving no trace in the sky,
- And years went with it, and worlds. And he dreamed still
- Of a fleeter shadow among the shadows running,
- Foam into foam, without a gesture or cry,
- Leaving him there, alone, on a lonely hill.
- I. Part 2
- Evening: in the twilight town
- One by one the stars stepped down,
- Each to assume his destined place:
- And there he saw the destined face.
- Her eyes were void, here eyes were deep:
- She came like one who moved in sleep:
- And when she looked across the night
- Beneath, among, those points of light,
- Into his heart she shot a pang,
- As if a voice within him sang,
- Sang and was silent. Down the street,
- And lost in darkness, fled the feet;
- Ambiguous, the street-lamp's gleam
- Mocked at her eyes, and then the dream
- From shuttered window, shadowed hall,
- Chuckled beyond a lampless wall.
- Among the crowding lights he went,
- Where faces massed like lilies blent,
- And this time plucked and made his own
- Above snarled music's undertone:
- Breathing the perfume of her hair,
- He touched her arm, but suddenly there
- As in a dance of shadows fleeing
- (His eyes were shut for fear of seeing)
- He watched red roses dropt apart
- Each to disclose a charnel heart.
- Ghostly with powder in the night,
- Her hand upon his arm was white:
- Her gown was light, and lightly blew,
- A gauze of flame it burned him through.
- Under the singing lamp she stood,
- And smiled in subtly fugitive mood,
- From depth to depth of wingless skies
- Withdrawing batlike down her eyes:
- And in his heart an echo came
- Of quick dust quaking under flame.
- Pale walls enclosed them. One light shed
- A yellow flicker across the bed.
- Loud steps rang through the street, and then
- The hush of night grew deep again.
- Two shadows on the wall made one --
- What human walls were here flung down,
- The light extinguished as in pain,
- The weak light dying in the brain?
- Green leaves pushed up through yielding air
- Greedy for life she loosed her hair
- With conscious and indifferent hands.
- . . . High on his cliff, above hard sands,
- He saw the moonlit ocean come
- In ever-inward rings of foam,
- Heard them break to shoot and seethe
- Ever inward far beneath:
- The ringed horizon rhythmic coming
- And in the moonlight silent foaming:
- But the dream changed: thick minutes dripped:
- Between his fingers a fleet light slipped:
- Was gone, was lost:
- And on the sand, or in his brain,
- He saw red roses fall again:
- Rose-wreathed skeletons advanced
- And clumsily lifted foot and danced:
- And he saw the roses drop apart
- Each to disclose a charnel heart.
- Whose were these loathed and empty eyes?
- Who, falling, in these wingless skies?
- This was not she: he rose, withdrew:
- One shadow on the wall made two,
- The human walls stood up again:
- Far in the night, or in his brain,
- He heard her whisper, felt her pass,
- Shadow of spirit over glass.
- I. Part 3
- And a silent star slipped golden down the darkness,
- Taking his life with it, like a little cloud
- Consumed in fire and speed, diffused in darkness:
- Tangled and caught together, the days, the years,
- His voice, his lifted hands,
- Were raveled and sped; where, by the sea, he bowed
- And dreamed of the foam that crept back into the sea,
- And the wandering leaves that crept back into the tree.
- I. Part 4
- Roses, he thought, were kin to her,
- Pure text of dust; and learning these
- He might more surely win to her,
- Speak her own tongue to pledge and please.
- What vernal kinship, then, was this
- That spoke and perished in a breath?
- In leaves, she was near enough to kiss,
- And yet, impalpable as death.
- Spading dark earth, he tore apart
- Exquisite roots: she fled from him.
- Her stigma, in the crocus heart,
- Probed for delicately, would swim
- Lazily faint away on air,
- Not to be caught or held: she fled
- Before him, wavering, everywhere,
- A summer's secret behind he shed.
- Music? He found it under earth,
- Quick veins of fire: he heard her sing.
- Upward it broke, a springing mirth,
- A fugitive and amazing thing,
- It flashed before his crazy feet,
- He danced upon it, it would not stay,
- His hands against its brightness beat,
- But still it broke in light away.
- O bird -- he cried -- if bird you are,
- Keep still those frantic wings a while! . . .
- Thus dancing for the evening star,
- In hope to capture it by guile.
- I. Part 5
- The moon rose, and the moon set;
- And the stars rushed up and whirled and set;
- And again they swarmed, after a shaft of sunlight;
- And the dark blue dusk closed above him, like an ocean of regret.
- White trident fires were lit on the tops of towers;
- Monstrous and black the towers broke the sky.
- The ghostly fountain shot and tumbled in showers;
- Gaunt leaves turned down above it, thirstily.
- The gold fish, and the fish with fins of silver,
- Quivered in lamplight, rose with sinister eye,
- And darted into the darkness, silently.
- The faces that looked at him were his own faces,
- They streamed along the streets, they licked like fire,
- Flowed with undulant paces,
- Reflected in the darkness stared at him,
- Contemplative, despairing,
- Swept silently aside, becoming dim,
- With a vague impotent gesture at the sky,
- Uncontrolled and little caring;
- And he watched them with an introspective eye.
- To shape this world of leaderless ghostly passions --
- Or else be mobbed by it -- there was the question:
- Green leaves above him whispered the slow question,
- Black ripples on the pool chuckled of passions.
- And between the uneasy shoulders of two trees,
- Huge, against impalpable gust of blue,
- A golden star slid down to leafy seas,
- A star he somehow knew.
- Youths tripped after him, laughing, but he fled them:
- He heard them mock him, in affected tones.
- Their lamia mouthes, so smiling, bade him fear them.
- His own face leered at him, with timid lust,
- Was overwhelmed in night.
- He turned aside, and walked in graveyard dust, --
- In the dew-dabbled, clinging dust, --
- And terror seized him, seeing the stones so white;
- And the wet grass, frozen and motionless in the moonlight;
- And the green-tongued moonlight, crawling in thick dust.
- Was it murky vapor, here, that dulled the stars? --
- Or his own guilty breath that clouded heaven? --
- Pale hands struck down with spades.
- And it was he, with dew upon his face,
- Who dug the foul earth in that dripping place,
- Turning his back on heaven.
- And it was he who found the desired dead;
- And kissed the languid head;
- While shadows frisked about him in moonlight,
- Whirled and capered and leapt,
- Caught each other and mimicked lust in the moonlight,
- In the dew-wet dust, above the dead who slept.
- But this -- was it this he rose from and desired?
- Black mould of leaves clung wetly about his feet.
- He was lost, and alone, and tired,
- A mist curled round him coldly, touched his face,
- Shadows with eyes were gathering in that place;
- And he dreamed of a lamplit street.
- But roses fell through the darkness,
- They writhed before him out of the mould,
- Opened their hearts to pour out darkness,
- Darkness of flesh, of lust grown old.
- He struggled against them, beat,
- Broke them with hands to feel the blood flow warm,
- Reeled, when they opened their hearts,
- Feeling them with their eyes closed push and swarm,
- Thronging about his throat, pressing his mouth,
- Beating his temples, choking his breath . . .
- Help, you stars! -- wet darkness showered upon him.
- He was dissolved in a deep cold dream of death.
- White fires were lit upon the tops of towers,
- The towers shouldered the sky:
- The ghostly fountain shot and tumbled in showers,
- Gaunt leaves leaned down above it, thirstily.
- And he looked with laughter upon the lamplit ripples
- Each with its little image of the light,
- And thought the minds of men were like black ripples,
- Ripples of darkness, darkly huddled in night,
- Each of them with its image of lamp or star,
- Thinking itself the star.
- And it seemed to him, as he looked upon them, laughing,
- That he was the star they all in light reflected.
- He was the god who had been rejected,
- Stoned and trampled upon a filthy street,
- Hung up in lamplight for young men to beat,
- Cursed and spat upon; and all for saying
- There was no life save life of fast and praying.
- Or had he been a beggar, with bare feet?
- Or a cruel ascetic, trampling roses down? . . .
- Roses are death! he cried. He turned in hatred,
- And saw red fires burst up above the town;
- And a swarm of faces rising, green with hatred.
- And silence descended, on dripping trees:
- And dew-spats slowly spat from leaves to stones.
- He had walked these gardens, he thought, before.
- The fountain chuckled;
- The leaves rustled, in whispers, along a shore.
- And the moon rose, and the moon set;
- And the stars rushed up, and swarmed, and set;
- And again they swarmed, after a shaft of sunlight;
- And the blue dusk closed above him, like an ocean of regret.
- II. Part 1
- And at times it seemed,
- Walking with her of whom he subtly dreamed,
- That her young body was ringed with flame,
- Hover of fire,
- And that she went and came,
- Impalpable fiery blossom of desire,
- Into his heart and out of his heart again,
- With every breath, and every breath was pain.
- And if he touched her hand, she drew away,
- Becoming something vast; and stretched her hair
- Suddenly, like black rain, across the sun.
- Till he grew fearful, seeing her there,
- To think that he loved such a one,
- Who rose against the sky to shut out day.
- But at times it seemed,
- Walking with her of whom he subtly dreamed,
- (Music beneath the sea)
- That she was texture of earth no less than he;
- Among the leaves her face
- Gleamed with familiar grace;
- And walking slowly through old gardens,
- Among the cool blue cedars,
- Spreading her hands in the silent dazzle of sunlight,
- Her voice and the air were sweetly married;
- Her laughter trembled like music out of the earth;
- her body was like the cool blue cedars,
- Fragrant in sunlight.
- And he quivered, to think that he was the blade, in sunlight,
- To flash, and strip these boughs, and spill their fragrance.
- Wind hurried the last year's leaves, their shadows hurried,
- And clouds blew down the sky.
- Where would they be with a year gone by?
- Let us be quick: there is time to overcome:
- The earth grows old, the moon is already dead,
- But you are young, you tremble because you love me,
- It is all we have. Let nothing more be said.
- What do we care for a star that floats down heaven,
- That fiery tear of time?
- It spoke to us once, it will not speak again,
- It will be no more remembered than last year's rain;
- There will be other dusks for us to walk through,
- And other stars will float down heaven.
- Time is undone: Between our hands it slips,
- Goes out between us, the breath upon our lips.
- Do not look over your shoulder to see it falling!
- Shadows gather and brood, under the trees.
- The world grows silent, it listens to hear us walking;
- Let the star perish: we wander as we please.
- Or is the earth beneath us an old star falling,
- Falling through twilight to leafy seas?
- The night grows damp: I will take your arm.
- Follow the lanterns, lest we come to harm.
- IV. Part 6
- Twilight: a cold green sky.
- Low massed clouds, with dazzling sinister edges,
- And a sea gull, falling in high pale sunlight.
- Dusk, -- the encroachment of poisonous shadows,
- The leisurely lighting of lamps;
- And a gradual silence of restless trees.
- Mist of twilight in my heart:
- I who was always catching at fire.
- Mould of black leaves under my feet;
- I, whose star was desire.
- Earth spins in her shadow.
- Let us turn and go back
- To the first of out loves --
- The one who was moonlight and the fall of white roses!
- We are struck down, we hear no music.
- The moisture of night is in our hands.
- Time takes us. We are eternal.
- Conrad Aiken
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