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Longevity? You canít be beautiful and sexy forever. You can be funny.
--Dianne Keaton, Radio Interview, Feb 2004



















One time my whole family played hide and seek. They found my mother in Pittsburgh.
--Rodney Dangerfield



















If the facts do not conform to the theory, they must be disposed of.
--Maier's Law



















Reality is that which, when you stop believing in it, doesn't go away.
--Philip K. Dick



















Sometimes you got to hurt something to help something. Sometimes you have to plow under one thing in order for something else to grow.
--Ernest J. Gaines



















It is not our abilities that show what we truly are. It is our choices.
--Richard Harris as Albus Dumbledore



















Taran wanted to make a sword; but Coll, charged with the practical side of his education, decided on horse-shoes.
--The Book of Three, by Lloyd Alexander, 1964

Detailed Descriptions

  1. Recent Quotes - From books, magazines, television, radio and a few online sources - an a good selection of humor and irony.
    I think one of the reasons I'm popular again is because I'm wearing a tie. You have to be different. - Tony Bennet

  2. Advice from many sources: some good, some bad, some great -- you'll have to judge for yourself.
    Never eat anything at one sitting that you can't lift. - Miss Piggy

  3. A selection of philosophical and motivational quotes from Great Leaders.
    Winning is a habit. Unfortuantely, so is losing. - Vince Lombardi

  4. The Poetry - Part I - the comprehensive Poets' Corner archive, containing thousands of complete works
    For words, like Nature, half reveal
    And half conceal the Soul within.
    - Alfred, Lord Tennyson

  5. Proverbial Wisdom - Volume I - Collected from around the globe. Some may be ancient, but are suprisingly timely...
    It is good to know the truth, but it is better to speak of palm trees. - Arab Proverb

  6. Collected Sarcasm (or, if you prefer, "Wit").
    The person who knows how to laugh at himself will never cease to be amused. - Shirley Maclaine

  7. Annoying Proverbs (The ones that rate cliche status).
    Look before you leap.

  8. Miscellaneous Malapropisms - Things that are, somehow, just not quite right...
    Shhhh! I hear footprints.

  9. Quotes by Women - Balancing out some of the unintended bias elsewhere in the collection.
    Do not call for black power or green power. Call for brain power. - Barbara Jordan

  10. Random Visions - A variety of color screen images with inspirational quotes.
    Keep your fears to yourself, but share your inspiration with others. - Robert Louis Stevenson

  11. Wisdom - Things that, one way or another, are just hard to argue with.
    We must learn our limits. We are all something, but none of us are everything. - Blaise Pascal

  12. Quotes from Poetry - Part II - Quotes excerpted from poetry.
    It matters not how strait the gate,
    How charged with punishments the scroll,
    I am the master of my fate:
    I am the captain of my soul.
    - William Ernest Henley, [Invictus, 1888]

  13. Aphorisms - Universal (perhaps inescapable) truths.
    Memory is the greatest of artists, and effaces from your mind what is unnecessary. -Maurice Baring

  14. Alternative Definitions - Other ways of looking at some commonly used words.
    CONSCIENCE: The inner voice that warns us that someone may be looking. - H.L. Mencken

  15. A catalog of Observed and Empirical Laws - Selections from Mr Murphy and his friends.
    Never worry about the bullet with your name on it. Instead, worry about shrapnel addressed to 'occupant'. - Murphy's Tenth Military Law

  16. A sometimes abrasive collection of Serious Sarcasm .
    Seeing a murder on television can help work off one's antagonisms. And if you haven't any antagonisms, the commercials will give you some. - Alfred Hitchcock

  17. Alphabetical by Author - A collection of over 3,000 quotes arranged by author.
    Never fight an inanimate object. - P. J. O'Rourke

  18. The Best of Anonymous - Anonymous who? (Why, some of my best friends are anonymous)
    Horses just naturally have mohawk haircuts.

  19. Selections from William Shakespeare
    A horse! a horse! my kingdom for a horse!. - from Richard III

  20. The Alphabetical Steven Wright - What a section to have after the Bard, eh?
    When I woke up this morning my girlfriend asked me, "Did you sleep good?" I said, "No, I made a few mistakes."

  21. Quotations selected by Topic - A truely massive archive - the heart of the collection.
    All right, they're on our left, they're on our right, they're in front of us, they're behind us...they can't get away this time. -Chesty Puller (USMC, when surrounded by 8 enemy divisions during the Korean War.)

  22. A Rush of Wings by Bill King.
    Life is made up of sobs, sniffles and smiles, with sniffles predominating. - O. Henry

  23. Since I'm begining to get lazy (or simply unable to organize the flood of information) the latest (time saving) category is unsorted Bulk Quotations - get 'em by the kilobyte.
    You know you're over fifty when you sink your teeth into a steak and they stay there. - Anon.

  24. Childsong: The Lullaby of Life - another collection compiled by Bill King. This one is an anthology of children's verse collected and adapted by Bill King
    I never saw a Purple Cow / I never hope to see one, / But I can tell you, anyhow, / I'd rather see than be one! - Gelett Burgess

  25. Stupid Quotations - Statements that range from the annoyingly obvious, to the not-well-thought-out, to things that lose a little in translation.
    Caution: Cape does not enable user to fly. - Batman Costume warning label

  26. Good Starts - Sentences that begin well-known stories - a surprisingly interesting collection.
    When a day that you happen to know is Wednesday starts off sounding like Sunday, there is something seriously wrong somewhere. - The Day of the Triffids, by John Wyndham

  27. African-American Expressions - Opinions, experiences, inspiration, and wisdom, in varied doses.
    People see God every day, they just don't recognize him. - Pearl Bailey

  28. Film - Quotes taken from the movies.
    Of all the gin joints in all the towns in all the world, she walks into mine. - Humphrey Bogart, from Cassablanca

  29. Quote-a-day Calendar - A sample of inspirational and motivational thoughts for each day of the year.
    In matters of style, swim with the current; In matters of principle, stand like a rock.†-- Thomas Jefferson

  30. As Advertised - Everyone's least favorite advertising catch phrases, and some you probably never heard.
    What Happens in Vegas stays in Vegas.- Las Vegas, Nevada Convention & Visitor Bureau

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