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  1. Hospital rooms seemt to have vastly more ceiling than any rooms people live in.
       -- Bertha Damon

  2. Hospitals, like airports and supermarkets, only pretend to be open nights and weekends.
       -- Molly Haskell

  3. One of the most difficult things to contend with in a hospital is the assumption on the part of the staff that because you have lost your gall bladder you have also lost your mind.
       -- Jean Kerr

  4. The ultimate indignity is to be given a bedpan by a stranger who calls you by your first name.
       -- Maggie Kuhn

  5. Looking out of a hospital window is different from looking out of any other. Somehow you do not see outside.
       -- Carol Matthau

  6. Hospitals are only an intermediate stage of civilization.
       -- Florence Nightingale

  7. In hospitals there is no time off for good behavior.
       -- Josephine Tey

  8. It's like a convent, the hospital. You leave the world behind and take vows of poverty, chastity, obedience.
       -- Carolyn Wheat

  9. A trip to the hospital is always a descent into the macabre. I have never trusted a place with shiny floors.
       -- Terry Tempest Williams


  1. I call myself a 'domestic goddess.'
       -- Rosanne Barr

  2. To be a housewife is to be a member of a very peculiar occupation, one with characteristics like no other. The nature of the duties to be performed, the method of payment, the form of supervision, the tenure system, the "market" in which the "workers" find "jobs," and the physical hazzards are all very different from the way things are in other occupations.
       -- Barbara Bergmann

  3. I would be content being a housewife if I could find the kind of man who wouldn't treat me like one.
       -- Terry McMillan

  4. No laborer in the world is expected to work for room, board, and love--except the housewife.
       -- Letty Cottin Pogrebin

  5. There is, I suppose, no occupation in the world which has an influence on the efficiency and happiness of the members of nearly all other occupations so continuous and so permeating as that of the working housewife and mother.
       -- Eleanor F. Rathbone


  1. Housekeeping ain't no joke.
       -- Louis May Alcott

  2. I will clean house when Sears comes out with a riding vacuum cleaner.
       -- Roseanne Barr

  3. Few tasks are more like the torture of Sisyphus than housework, with its endless repetition: the clean becomes soiled, the soiled is made clean, over and over, day after day.
       -- Simone de Beauvoir

  4. I would rather lie on a sofa than sweep beneath it.
       -- Shirley Conran

  5. Housekeeping is like being caught in a revolving door.
       -- Marcelene Cox

  6. I buried a lot of my ironing in the back yard.
       -- Phyllis Diller

  7. If your house is really a mess and a stranger comes to the door greet him with, "Who could have done this? we have no enemies."
       -- Phyllis Diller

  8. I'm eighteen years behind in my ironing. There's no use doing it now, it doesn't fit anybody I know
       -- Phyllis Diller

  9. The average man has a carefully cultivated ignorance about household matters--from what to do with the crumbs to the grocer's telephone number--a sort of cheerful inefficiency which protects him.
       -- Crystal Eastman

  10. They shared the chores of living as some couples do--she did most of the work and he appreciated it.
       -- Paula Gosling

  11. The worst thing about work in the house or home is that whatever you do it is destroyed, laid waste or eaten within twenty-four hours.
       -- Lady Hasluck

  12. A man's home is his castle, and his wife is the janitor.
       -- Lucille Kallen

  13. At worst, a house unkept cannot be so distressing as a life unlived.
       -- Rose Macaulay

  14. People can say what they like about the eternal verities, love and truth and so on, but nothing's as eternal as the dishes.
       -- Margaret Mahy

  15. The important thing about women today is, as they get older, they still keep house. It's one reason why they don't die, but men die when they retire. Women just polish the teacups.
       -- Margaret Mead

  16. Have you ever taken anything out of the clothes basket because it had become, relatively, the cleaner thing?
       -- Katherine Whitehorn


  1. We are all just monkeys in business suits running around pretending to be executives.
       -- Anon.

  2. Of mankind in general, the parts are greater than the whole.
       -- Aristotle

  3. Man is at the bottom an animal, midway, a citizen, and at the top, divine. But the climate of this world is such that few ripen at the top.
       -- Henry Ward Beecher

  4. He had the uneasy manner of a man who is not among his own kind, and who has not seen enought of the world to feel that all people are in some sense his own kind.
       -- Willa Cather

  5. Humans can learn to like anything, that's why we are such a successful species. You can drop humans anywhere and they'll thrive--only the rat does as well.
       -- Jeanette Desor

  6. It is more comfortable to feel that we are a slight improvement on a monkey than such a fallin' off from the angels.
       -- Finley peter Dunne

  7. We cannot despair of humanity, since we ourselves are human beings.
       -- Albert Einstein

  8. Man is physically as well as metaphysically a thing of shreds and patches, borrowed unequally from good and bad ancestors, and a misfit from the start.
       -- Ralph Waldo Emerson

  9. Man's most valuable trait
    Is a judicious sense of what not to believe.
       -- Euripides

  10. The dignity of man lies in his ability to face reality in all o its meaninglessness.
       -- Martin Esslin

  11. We have believed--and we do believe now--that freedom is indivisible, that peace is indivisible, that economic prosperity is indivisible.
       -- Indira Gandhi

  12. Man is the only animal that laughs and weeps; for he is the only animal that is struck by the difference between what things are and what they might have been.
       -- William Hazlitt

  13. Every man is more than just himself; he also represents the unique, the very special and always significant and remarkable point at which the world's phenomena intersect, only once in this way, and never again.
       -- Herman Hesse

  14. I am mortal. I am born to love and to suffer.
       -- Friedrich Holderlin

  15. Could anything be absurder than a man? The animal who knows everything about himself--except why he was born and the meaning of his unique existence.
       -- Storm Jameson

  16. A humanist is anyone who rejects the attempt to describe or account for man wholly on the basis of physics, chemistry or animal behaviour.
       -- Joseph R. Krutch

  17. Limited in his nature, infinite in his desires. Man is a fallen god who remembers heaven.
       -- Alphonse de Lamartine

  18. There is nothing on earth divine except humanity.
       -- Walter S. Landor

  19. There are 193 living species of monkeys and apes. 192 of them are covered with hair. The exception is a naked ape, self-named Homo Sapiens.
       -- Desmond Morris

  20. The natural man has only two primal passions: to get and beget.
       -- William Osler

  21. Humanity is the sin of God.
       -- Theodore Parker

  22. man is only a reed, the weakest thing in nature, but he is a thinking reed.
       -- Blaise Pascal

  23. Man makes holy what he beleives, as he makes beautiful what he loves.
       -- Ernest Renan

  24. Man is as full of potentiality as he is of impotence.
       -- George Santayana

  25. God made him, and therefore let him pass for a man.
       -- William Shakespeare - The Merchant of Venice

  26. Man, an animal that makes bargains.
       -- Adam Smith

  27. The true grandeur of humanity is in moral elevation, sustained, enlightened and decorated by the intellect of man.
       -- Charles Sumner

  28. I am a man; nothing human is alien to me.
       -- Terence

  29. There are times when one would like to hang the whole human race, and finish the farce.
       -- Mark Twain

  30. The so-called human race.
       -- Mark Twain

  31. If the whole human race lay in one grave, the epitaph on the headstone might well be: "It seemed a good idea at the time."
       -- Rebecca West

  32. Humanity to me is not a mob. A mob is a degeneration of humanity. A mob is humanity going the wrong way.
       -- Frank Lloyd Wright

    Human Nature

  1. A sudden, bold, and unexpected question doth many times surprise a man and lay him open.
       -- Francis Bacon

  2. We have provided for the survival of man against all enemies except his fellow man.
       -- Lyman Lloyd Bryson

  3. A human being isn't an orchid, he must draw something from the soil he grows in.
       -- Sara Jenett Duncan

  4. It will be very generally found that those who will sneer habitually at human nature, and affect to despise it, are among its worst and least pleasant samples.
       -- Charles Dickens

  5. Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the universe.
       -- Albert Einstein

  6. It is human nature to think wisely and act foolishly.
       -- Anatole France

  7. Only the person who has faith in himself is able to be faithful to others.
       -- Erich Fromm

  8. Some of us are like wheelbarrows--only useful when pushed, and very easily upset.
       -- Jack Herbert

  9. It is easier to love humanity as a whole than to love one's neighbor.
       -- Eric Hoffer

  10. The middle class prefers comfort to pleasure, convenience to liberty, and a pleasant temperature to the deathly consuming inner fire.
       -- Herman Hesse

  11. It is well to remember that the entire population of the universe, with one trifling exception, is composed of others.
       -- John Andrew Holmes

  12. Most human beings have an absolute and infinite capacity for taking things for granted.
       -- Aldous Huxley

  13. An unlearned carpenter of my acquaintance once said in my hearing: 'There is very little difference between one man and another, but what there is is very important.'
       -- William James

  14. See everything: overlook a great deal: correct a little.
       -- Pope John XXII

  15. A loving person lives in a loving world. A hostile person lives in a hostile world: Everyone you meet is your mirror.
       -- Ken Keyes, Jr.

  16. Man is a gaming animal. He must always be trying to get the better in something or other.
       -- Charles Lamb

  17. Every so often, we pass laws repealing human nature.
       -- Howard Lindsay

  18. In this world, a man must either be anvil or hammer.
       -- Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

  19. Human nature is potentially aggressive and destructive and potentially orderly and constructive.
       -- Margaret Mead

  20. It is in vain to hope to please all alike. Let a man stand with his face in what direction he will, he must necessarily turn his back on one half of the world.
       -- George Dennison Prentice

  21. The opinions which we hold of one another, our relations with friends and kinfolk are in no sense permanent, save in appearance, but are as eternally fluid as the sea itself.
       -- Marcel Proust

  22. My nature is subdued to what it works in, like the dyer's hand.
       -- William Shakespeare

  23. A lady asked me why, on most occasions, I wore black. "Are you in mourning?" "Yes." "For whom are you in mourning?" "For the world."
       -- Dame Edith Sitwell

  24. I am a part of all that I have met.
       -- Alfred, Lord Tennyson

  25. There is a great deal of human nature in people.
       -- Mark Twain

  26. We should expect the best and the worst from mankind, as from the weather.
       -- Vauvenargues

  27. I reckon there's as much human nature in some folks as there is in others, if not more.
       -- Edward Noyes Westcott


  1. It was pride that changed angels into devils; it is humility that makes men as angels.
       -- Saint Augustine

  2. The more humble a man is before God the more he will be exhalted; the more humble he is before man, the more he will get rode roughshod.
       -- Josh Billings

  3. Without humility there can be no humanity.
       -- John Buchan

  4. Personally, I rather look forward to a computer program winning the world chess championship. Humanity needs a lesson in humility.
       -- Richard Dawkins

  5. Extremes meet and there is no better example than the haughtiness of humility.
       -- Ralph Waldo Emerson

  6. Humility is not my forte, and whenever I dwell for any length of time on my own shortcomings, they gradually begin to seem mild, harmless, engaging little things, not at all like the staring defects in other people's characters.
       -- Margaret Halsey

  7. The first of all other virtues--for other people.
       -- Oliver Wendell Holmes

  8. He that makes himself a sheep shall be eaten by a wolf.
       -- Italian Proverb

  9. The proud man can learn humility, but he will be proud of it.
       -- Mignon McLaughlin

  10. Humility is like underwear, essential, but indecent if it shows.
       -- Helen Nielsen

  11. Humility is attentive patience.
       -- Simone Weil

  12. I feel coming on a strange disease--humility.
       -- Frank Lloyd Wright


  1. A sense of humor is what makes you laugh at something which would make you mad if it happened to you.
       -- Anon.

  2. Wit is far more often a shield than a lance.
       -- Anon.

  3. Humour is the only test of gravity, and gravity of humour, for a subject which will not bear raillery is suspicious, and a jest which will not bear serious examination is false wit.
       -- Aristotle

  4. He'd never laugh at my jokes. I was a woman, meaning my relationship with humor should have been as an object, not a perpetrator.
       -- Rosanne Arnold

  5. You row up the day you have your first real laugh, at yourself.
       -- Ethel Barrymore

  6. Humor tells you where the trouble is.
       -- Louise Bernikow

  7. There are very few good judges of humor, and they don't agree.
       -- Josh Billings

  8. We must laugh at a man to avoid crying for him.
       -- Napoleon Bonaparte

  9. Humor is just another defence against the universe.
       -- Mel Brooks

  10. Humor comes from self-confidence. There's an aggressive element to wit.
       -- Rita Mae Brown

  11. If you want to make people week, you must weep yourself. If you want to make people laugh, your face must remain serious.
       -- Casanova

  12. Humor is merely tragedy standing on its head with its pants torn.
       -- Irvin S. Cobb

  13. Men will confess to treason, murder, arson, false teeth, or a wig. How many of them will own up to a lack of humor?
       -- Frank Moore Colby

  14. The love of truth lies at the root of much humour.
       -- Robertson Davies

  15. Humor is by far the most significant activity of the human brain.
       -- Edward De Bono

  16. The satirist shoots to kill while the humorist brings his prey back alive and eventually releases him again for another chance.
       -- Peter De Vries

  17. A difference of taste in jokes is a great strain on the affections.
       -- George Eliot

  18. If I had no sense of humor, I would long ago have committed suicide.
       -- Mahatma Gandhi

  19. A humorist is a man who feels bad but feels good about it.
       -- Don Herold

  20. Humor is a rubber sword--it allows you to make a point without drawing blood.
       -- Mary Hirsch

  21. A man isn't poor if he can still laugh.
       -- Raymond Hitchcock

  22. A comedian does funny things. A good comedian does things funny.
       -- Buster Keaton

  23. He deserves paradise who makes his companions laugh.
       -- The Koran

  24. The teller of a mirthful tale has lattitude allowed him. We are content with less than absolute truth.
       -- Charles Lamb

  25. Anything awful makes me laugh. I misbehaved once at a funeral.
       -- Charles Lamb

  26. Don't try for wit. Settle for humor. You'll last longer.
       -- Elsa Maxwell

  27. I had thought, on starting this composition, that I should define what humor means to me. However, every time I tried to, I had to go and lie down with a cold wet cloth on my head.
       -- Dorothy Parker

  28. There's a hell of a difference between wisecracking and wit. Wit has truth in it; wisecracking is simply calisthenics with words.
       -- Dorothy Parker

  29. Even the gods love jokes.
       -- Plato

  30. There are things of deadly earnest that can only be safely mentioned under cover of a joke.
       -- J.J. Procter

  31. Humor distorts nothing, and only false gods are knocked off their earthly pedestals.
       -- Agnes Repplier

  32. Everything is funny as long as it is happening to somebody else.
       -- Will Rogers

  33. If I studied all my life, I couldn't think up half the number of funny things passed in one session of congress.
       -- Will Rogers

  34. There is so little difference between husbands you might as well keep the first.
       -- Adele Rogers St. John

  35. Good humor isn't a trait of character, it is an art which requires practice.
       -- David Seabury

  36. Jesters do oft prove prophets.
       -- Wiliam Shakespeare - King Lear

  37. It is a difficult thing to like anybody else's ideas of being funny.
       -- Gertrude Stein

  38. Good humor is one of the best articles of dress one can wear in society.
       -- William Makepeace Thackeray

  39. Humor is emotional chaos remembered in tranquility.
       -- James Thurber

  40. There are many humorous things in the world, among them the white man's notion that he is less savage than the other savages.
       -- Mark Twain

  41. That is the best -- to laugh with someone because you both think the same things are funny.
       -- Gloria Vanderbilt

  42. Wit is the only wall
    Between us and the dark.
       -- Mark Van Doren

  43. We are not amused!
       -- Queen Victoria

  44. It's hard to be funny when you have to be clean.
       -- Mae West

  45. Whenever you find humor, you find pathos close by his side.
       -- Edwin Percy Whipple

  46. Humor can be dissected, as a frog can, but the thing dies in the process.
       -- E.B. White

  47. The total absence of humor from the Bible is one of the most singular things in all literature.
       -- Alfred North Whitehead

  48. Humor is the first of the gifts to perish in a foreign tongue.
       -- Virginia Woolfe


  1. If the people have no bread, let them eat cake.
       -- Marie Antoinette

  2. Hungry people cannot be good at learning or producing anything, except perhaps violence.
       -- Pearl Bailey

  3. Hunger makes a thief of any man.
       -- Pearl S. Buck

  4. There will never cease to be ferment in the world unless people are sure of their food.
       -- Pearl S. Buck

  5. A hungry man can't see right or wrong. He just sees food.
       -- Pearl S. Buck

  6. An empty stomach is not a good political advisor.
       -- Albert Einstein

  7. No man can be wise on an empty stomach.
       -- George Eliot

  8. A hungry man is an angry one.
       -- Buchi Emecheta

  9. Hunger steals the memory.
       -- Louise Erdrich

  10. We can plant wheat every year, but the people who are starving die only once.
       -- Fiorello H. La Guardia

  11. Hunger also changes the world--when eating can't be a habit, than neither can seeing.
       -- Maxine Hong Kingston

  12. A hungry dog will eat dirty puddings.
       -- Latin Proverb

  13. No clock is more regular than the belly.
       -- Rabelais

  14. The freedom of man, I contend, is the freedom to eat.
       -- Eleanor Rooseveldt

  15. A hungry people listens not to reason, nor cares for justice, nor is bent by any prayers.
       -- Seneca

  16. No one can worship God or love his neighbor on an empty stomach.
       -- Woodrow Wilson

  17. Hunger does not breed reform; it breeds madness, and all the ugly distempers that make an ordered life impossible.
       -- Woodrow Wilson


  1. Do not put such unlimited power into the hands of husbands. Remember, all men would be tyrants if they could.
       -- Abigail Smith Adams

  2. My husband will never chase another woman. He's too fine, too decent, too old.
       -- Gracie Allen

  3. All husbands are alike, but they have different faces so you can tell them apart.
       -- Anon.

  4. Man forgives woman anything save the wit to outwit him.
       -- Minna Antrim

  5. Fat generally tends to make a man a better husband. His wife is happy in the knowledge she is not married to a woman chaser. Few fat men chase girls, because they get winded too easily.
       -- Hal Boyle

  6. I was brought up among the sort of self-important women who had a husband as one has an alibi.
       -- Anita Brookner

  7. Positive reinforcement is hugging your husband when he does a load of laundry. Negative reinforcement is telling him he used too much detergent.
       -- Dr. Joyce Brothers

  8. There are few women so perfect that their husbands do not regret having married them at least once a day.
       -- Jean du la Bruyere

  9. An archaeologist is the best husband any woman can have: the older she gets, the more interested he is in her.
       -- Agatha Christie

  10. Grandchildren do not make a man feel old; it's the knowledge that he's married to a grandmother.
       -- G. Norman Collie

  11. I have never married because I have three pets at home that answer the same purpose as a husband. I have a dog that growels every morning, a parrot that swears all afternoon, and a cat that comes home late at night.
       -- Marie Corelli

  12. The calmest husbands make the stormiest wives.
       -- Thomas Dekker

  13. Most women set out to change a man, and when they have changed him they do not like him.
       -- Marlene Dietrich

  14. The better the workman, the worse husband.
       -- Thomas Draxe

  15. A good husband should be deaf and a good wife should be blind.
       -- French Proverb

  16. God, give me a rich husband though he be an ass.
       -- Thomas Fuller

  17. He knows little who will tell his wife all he knows.
       -- Thomas Fuller

  18. Husbands are like fires. They go out if left unattended.
       -- Zsa Zsa Gabor

  19. Plain women know more about men than beautiful ones do.
       -- Katharine Hepburn

  20. Husband and wife come to look alike at last.
       -- Oliver Wendell Holmes

  21. A man should be taller, older, heavier, uglier, and hoarser than his wife.
       -- Edgar Watson Howe

  22. There is only one thing to do for a man who is married to a woman who enjoys spending money, and that is to enjoy earning it.
       -- Edgar Watson Howe

  23. Oh! how I long to see my dear husband, that I may quarrel with him!
       -- Mrs Inchbald

  24. Marrying a man is like buying something you've been admiring for a long time in a shop window. You may love it when you get it home, but it doesn't always go with everything else in the house.
       -- Jean Kerr

  25. A lover may be a shadowy creature, but husbands are made of flesh and blood.
       -- Amy Levy

  26. Husbands never become good; they merely become proficient.
       -- H. L. Mencken

  27. The husband who wants a happy marriage should learn to keep his mouth shut and his checkbook open.
       -- Groucho Marx

  28. An easy-going husband is the one indispensable comfort of life.
       -- Ouida

  29. His voice was as intimate as the rustle of sheets.
       -- Dorothy Parker

  30. Don't worry. If you keep him long enough he'll come back in style.
       -- Dorothy Parker

  31. A husband is what is left of the lover after the nerve has been extracted.
       -- Helen Rowland

  32. Every man wants a woman to appeal to his better side, his nobler instincts and his higher nature --and another woman to help him forget them.
       -- Helen Rowland

  33. A husband without faults is a dangerous observer.
       -- Sir George Savile

  34. No one in the whole world knows all a man's bignesses and all his littlenesses as his wife does.
       -- Gene Stratton-Porter

  35. The true male never yet walked
    Who liked to listen when his mate talked.
       -- Anna Wickham

  36. One can always recognize women who trust their husbands. They look so thoroughly unhappy.
       -- Oscar Wilde


  1. A bad man is worse when he pretends to be a saint.
       -- Francis Bacon

  2. When you say that you agree to a thing in principle, you mean that you have not the slightest intention of carrying it out.
       -- Otto von Bismark

  3. The wolf was sick, he vowed a monk to be--
    But when he got well, a wolf once more was he.
       -- Walter Bower

  4. Man is the only animal that can remain on friendly terms with the victims he intends to eat.
       -- Samuel Butler

  5. The teeth are smiling, but is the heart?
       -- Congolese Proverb

  6. Every man alone is sincere; at the entrance of a second person hypocrisy begins.
       -- Ralph Waldo Emerson

  7. Extremes meet, and there is no better example than the naughtiness of humility.
       -- Ralph Waldo Emerson

  8. Affectation is a greater enemy to the face than smallpox.
       -- English Proverb

  9. Clean your finger before you point at my spots.
       -- Benjamin Franklin

  10. It is a trick among the dishonest to offer sacrifices that are not needed, or not possible, to avoid making those that are required.
       -- Ivan Goncharov

  11. No man, for any considerable period, can wear one face to himself, and another to the multitude, without finally getting bewildered as to which may be the true.
       -- Nathaniel Hawthorne

  12. We are not hypocrites in our sleep.
       -- William Hazlitt

  13. Many kiss the hand they wish cut off.
       -- George Herbert

  14. Remember this: If you work for a man, in Heaven's name, work for him. If he pays you wages which supply your bread and butter, work for him; speak well of him; stand by the institution which he represents. If put to a pinch, an ounce of loyalty is worth a pound of cleverness. If you must vilify, condemn and eternally disparage -- resign your position, and when you are on the outside, damn to your heart's content, but as long as you are a part of the institution do not condemn it.
       -- Elbert Hubbard

  15. If it were not for the intellectual snobs who pay, the arts would perish with their starving practitioners--let us thank heaven for hypocrisy.
       -- Aldous Huxley

  16. No man is a hypocrite in his pleasures.
       -- Samuel Johnson

  17. Hypocrisy is the homage that vice pays to virtue.
       -- François de La Rochefoucauld

  18. Hypocrite: the man who murdered both his parents ... pleaded for mercy on the grounds that he was an orphan.
       -- Abraham Lincoln

  19. For neither man nor angel can discern hypocracy, the only evil that walks invisible.
       -- John Milton

  20. I despise the pleasure of pleasing people whom I despise.
       -- Michel de Montaigne

  21. It is with pious fraud as with a bad action; it begets a calamitous necessity of going on.
       -- Thomas Paine

  22. Few men speak humbly of humility, chasely of chastity, skeptically of skepticism.
       -- Blaise Pascal

  23. He knows much of what men paint themselves would blister in the light of what they are.
       -- Edwin Arlington Robinson

  24. Where there is no religion, hypocrisy becomes good taste.
       -- George Bernard Shaw

  25. A hypocrite is the kind of politician who would cut down a redwood tree, then mount the stump and make a speech for conservation.
       -- Adlai E. Stevenson

  26. One face to the world, another at home makes for misery.
       -- Amy Vanderbuilt

  27. The value of an idea has nothing to do with the success of the man who expresses it.
       -- Oscar Wilde

  28. I hope you have not been leading a double life, pretending to be wicked and really being good all the time. That would be hypocracy.
       -- Oscar Wilde

  29. There is luxury in self-reproach. When we blame ourselves we feel that no one else has the right to blame us.
       -- Oscar Wilde


©1994 Stephen L. Spanoudis, All Rights Reserved Worldwide

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