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  1. The person who is slowest in making a promise is most faithful in its performance.
    -- Jean-Jacques Rousseau

  2. Never apologize for showing feeling. When you do so you apologize for truth.
    -- Benjamin Disraeli

  3. If it is not right do not do it; if it is not true do not say it.
    -- Marcus Aurelius

  4. In great matters men show themselves as they wish to be seen; in small matters, as they are.
    -- Gamaliel Bradford

  5. True friendship can afford true knowledge. It does not depend on darkness and ignorance.
    -- Henry David Thoreau

  6. The greatest homage to truth is to use it.
    -- Ralph Waldo Emerson

  7. A thing is not necessarily true because badly uttered, nor false because spoken magnificently.
    -- St. Augustine

  8. The open-minded see the truth in different things: the narrow-minded see only the differences.
    -- Author Unknown

  9. Facts do not cease to exist because they are ignored.
    -- Aldous Huxley

  10. The best theology would need no advocates; it would prove itself.
    -- Karl Barth

  11. Facts are stubborn things; and whatever may be our wishes, our inclinations, or the dictates of our passions, they cannot alter the state of facts and evidence.
    -- John Adams

  12. How many legs does a dog have if you call the tail a leg? Four. Calling a tail a leg doesn't make it a leg.
    -- Abraham Lincoln

  13. Truth can be a dangerous thing. It is quite patient and relentless.
    -- R. Scott Richards

  14. It takes two to speak truth --One to speak, and another to hear.
    -- Henry David Thoreau

  15. Chase after the truth like all hell and you'll free yourself, even though you never touch its coattails.
    -- Clarence Darrow

  16. Nothing that was worthy in the past departs; no truth or goodness realized by man ever dies, or can die.
    -- Thomas Carlyle

  17. To believe in something, and not to live it, is dishonest.
    -- Ghandi

  18. Integrity is what we do, what we say, and what we say we do.
    --Don Galer

  19. Integrity without knowledge is weak and useless, and knowledge without integrity is dangerous and dreadful.
    -- Samuel Johnson

  20. A person is not given integrity. It results from the relentless pursuit of honesty at all times.
    -- Anon.

  21. Wisdom is knowing what to do next; virtue is doing it.
    -- David Starr Jordan

  22. We need the iron qualities that go with true manhood. We need the positive virtues of resolution, of courage, of indomitable will, of power to do without shrinking the rough work that must always be done.
    -- Theodore Roosevelt

  23. The time is always right to do what is right.
    -- Martin Luther King, Jr.

  24. Courage is the ladder on which all the other virtues mount.
    -- Clare Boothe Luce

  25. The only reward of virtue is virtue.
    -- Ralph Waldo Emerson

  26. Virtue is not left to stand alone. He who practices it will have neighbors.
    -- Confucius

  27. Few men have virtue to withstand the highest bidder.
    -- George Washington

  28. Virtue is like health: the harmony of the whole man.
    -- Thomas Carlyle

  29. The less a man thinks or knows about his virtues, the better we like him.
    -- Ralph Waldo Emerson

  30. All virtue is summed up in dealing justly.
    -- Aristotle

  31. He who has lost honor can lose nothing more.
    -- Publilius Syrus

  32. The nation's honor is dearer than the nation's comfort; yes, than the nation's life itself.
    -- Woodrow Wilson

  33. No race can prosper till it learns that there is as much dignity in tilling a field as in writing a poem.
    -- Booker T. Washington

  34. Honor lies in honest toil.
    -- Grover Cleveland

  35. Better to die ten thousand deaths than wound my honor.
    -- Joseph Addison (1672-1719)

  36. Dignity does not consist in possessing honors, but in deserving them.
    -- Aristotle (384-322BC)

  37. Honor's a thing too subtle for wisdom; if honor lie in eating, he's right honorable.
    -- Beaumont, Francis (c.1584-1616)

  38. Honorable, adj. Afflicted with an impediment in one's reach. In legislative bodies, it is customary to mention all members as honorable; as, `the honorable gentleman is a scurvy cur.'
    -- Bierce, Ambrose (1842-?1914)

  39. Honor is like an island, rugged and without shores; once we have left it, we can never return.
    Boileau, Nicolas (1636-1711) _Satires_ (1666) satire 10, l. 167

  40. Our own heart, and not other men's opinions form our true honor.
    -- Coleridge, Samuel Taylor (1772-1834)

  41. War, he sung, is toil and trouble;
    Honour but an empty bubble.
    -- Dryden, John (1631-1700)

  42. The louder he talked of his honour, the faster we counted our spoons.
    -- Emerson, Ralph Waldo (1803-1882) _Conduct of Life_ `Worship'

  43. Dishonor will not trouble me, once I am dead.
    -- Euripides (480-406BC)

  44. His designs were strictly honourable, as the phrase is; that is, to rob a lady of her fortune by way of marriage.
    -- Fielding, Henry (1707-1754) _Tom Jones_ (1749) bk. xi, ch. 4

  45. Purity is the feminine, Truth the masculine, of Honour.
    -- Hare, Julius (1795-1855) and Hare, Augustus (1792-1834), Guesses at truth (1827) series 1

  46. Honor's a good brooch to wear in a man's hat at all times.
    -- Jonson, Ben (1673-1637)

  47. It is not necessary that whilst I live I live happily; but it is necessary that so long as I live I should live honourably.
    -- Kant, Immanuel (1724-1804)

  48. A scar nobly got, or a noble scar, is a good livery of honour; so belike is that.
    -- Shakespeare, William (1564-1616) _All's Well That Ends Well_ IV.v

  49. It was just him and me. He fought with honor. If it weren't for his honor, he and the others would have beaten me together. They might have killed me, then. His sense of honor saved my life. I didn't fight with honor . . . I fought to win.
    -- Orson Scott Card from Ender's Game

  50. When a man takes an oath, Meg, he's holding his ownself in his own hands. Like water. And if he opens his fingers then- he needn't hope to find himself again.
    -- Robert Bolt from A Man For All Seasons

  51. Good-bye. I am leaving because I am bored.
    -- George Saunders - last words

  52. Now comes the mystery.
    -- Henry Ward Beecher - last words

  53. I am ready at any time. Do not keep me waiting.
    -- John Brown - last words

  54. Die? I should say not, dear fellow. No Barrymore would allow such a conventional thing to happen to him.
    -- John Barrymore - last words

  55. Thomas Jefferson--still surv...
    -- John Adams - last words

  56. Friends applaud, the Comedy is over.
    -- Ludwig von Beethoven - last words

  57. What is life? It is the flash of a firefly in the night. It is the breath of a buffalo in the wintertime. It is the little shadow which runs across the grass and loses itself in the sunset.
    -- Crowfoot, Blackfoot warrior and orator, 1890

  58. Show my head to the people, it is worth seeing.
    -- Georges Danton, to his executioner

  59. ...the fog is rising
    -- Emily Dickinson - last words

  60. The nourishment is palatable.
    -- Millard Fillmore - last words

  61. More light!
    -- Goethe - last words

  62. Dieu me pardonnera. C'est son m tier.
    (God will forgive me. It's his job.)
    -- Heinrich Heine - last words

  63. This is the fourth?
    -- Thomas Jefferson - last words

  64. Go on, get out. Last words are for fools who haven't said enough.
    -- Karl Marx to his housekeeper

  65. Drink to me.
    -- Pablo Picasso - last words

  66. They couldn't hit an elephant at this dist...
    -- General John B. Sedgwick, 1864 - last words

  67. Crito, I owe a cock to Asclepius; will you remember to pay the debt?
    -- Socrates - last words

  68. Don't let it end like this. Tell them I said something.
    -- Pancho Villa - last words

  69. I still live.
    -- Daniel Webster - last words

  70. Go away...I'm alright.
    -- H. G. Wells - last words

  71. Ah, well, then I suppose I shall have to die beyond my means.
    -- Oscar Wilde - last words

  72. Life after Fifty (thanks to Rex Guinn)

  73. Everything hurts and what doesn't hurt doesn't work

  74. The gleam in your eyes is from the sun hitting your bifocals

  75. You feel like the night before and you haven't been anywhere

  76. You get winded playing chess

  77. Your children begin to look middle aged

  78. You begin to outlive enthusiasm

  79. Your mind makes contracts your body can't meet

  80. You know all the answers, but nobody asks you the questions

  81. You look forward to a dull evening

  82. Your favorite part of the newspaper is 25 Years Ago Today

  83. You sit in a rocking chair and can't get it going

  84. Your knees buckle and your belt won't

  85. You reget all those mistakes resisting temptation

  86. Dialing long distance wears you out

  87. Your back goes out more than you do

  88. A fortune teller offers to read your face

  89. You burn the midnight oil after 9:00 pm

  90. You sink your teeth into a steak and they stay there

  91. You get your exercise acting as a pallbearer for your friends who exercise

  92. You have too mech room in the house and not enough room in the medicine cabinet

  93. The best part of my day is over when the alarm goes off

  94. Children are one-third of our population and all of our future.
    -- Select Panel for the Promotion of Child Health, 1981

  95. The soul is healed by being with children.
    -- Fyodor Dostoevsky

  96. There was never a child so lovely but his mother was glad to get him asleep.
    -- Ralph Waldo Emerson

  97. There are only two things a child will share willingly communicable diseases and his mother's age.
    -- Modern Maturity

  98. Before I married, I had three theories about raising children and no children. Now, I have three children and no theories.
    -- John Wilmot, Earl of Rochester

  99. We find delight in the beauty and happiness of children that makes the heart too big for the body.
    -- Ralph Waldo Emerson, - from The Conduct of Life

  100. We can't form our children on our own concepts;
    we must take them and love them as God gives them to us.
    -- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe, - from Hermann und Dorothea

  101. Your children are not your children.
    They are the sons and daughters of Life's
    longing for itself...
    You may house their bodies but not their souls,
    for their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow,
    which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams.
    -- Kahlil Gilbran, from The Prophet

  102. There was a child went forth everyday,
    And the first object he looked upon and received with wonder or pity or dread,
    that object he became,
    And that object became part of him for the day or a certain part of the day...
    or for many years or stretching cycles of years...
    -- Walt Whitman,from There Was a Child Went Forth, in Leaves of Grass

  103. Wherever they go, and whatever happens to them on the way,
    in that enchanted place on the top of the forest, a little boy and his
    Bear will always be playing.
    -- A A Milne, closing lines of Winnie-the-Pooh

  104. The better part of valor is discretion.
    -- William Shakespeare 1564-1616 from King Henry the Fourth, Part I
    [1597-1598], Act: V, Scene: iv, Line: 120

  105. Discretion is the better part of virtue,
    Commitments the voters don't know about can't hurt you.
    -- Ogden Nash 1902-1971 from The Old Dog Barks Backwards [1972]

  106. I have heard with admiring submission the experience of the lady who
    declared that the sense of being well-dressed gives a feeling of
    inward tranquillity which religion is powerless to bestow.
    -- Ralph Waldo Emerson (1803-1882) American essayist, poet, philosopher

    from Frank Baer, 175 anonymous one-liners:

  107. A blank page is God's way of showing you how hard it is to be God.

  108. A bore is a person who brightens a room simply by leaving it.

  109. A bore is someone who, when you ask him how he is, tells you.

  110. A closed mouth gathers no feet.

  111. A complete catastrophe includes not learning from the experience.

  112. A conference is a way of postponing a decision.

  113. A diamond is a chunk of coal that made good under pressure.

  114. A genius is one who shoots at something no one else can see, and hits it.

  115. A good sermon leaves you wondering how the preacher knew all about you.

  116. A man is known by the company he avoids.

  117. A mind is like a parachute: it only functions when it is open.

  118. A person who has a right to boast doesn't have to.

  119. A person who walks in another's tracks leaves no footprints.

  120. A smile confuses an approaching frown.

  121. A steady salary is an invitation to mediocrity.

  122. A stitch in time would have confused Einstein.

  123. A tree never hits an automobile except in self-defense.

  124. A wise man knows everything; a shrewd one, everybody.

  125. A wish is a desire without an attempt.

  126. After all is said and done, more is said than done.

  127. All men are self-made, but only the successful will admit it.

  128. Always put off until tomorrow the things you shouldn't do at all.

  129. An endurance test for some people is the pursuit of happiness.

  130. An excuse is often substituted for reason.

  131. As a rule, a quitter isn't a very good beginner either.

  132. As every thread of gold is valuable, so is every moment of time.

  133. As you grow older, you stand for more and fall for less.

  134. Better aim at a star than shoot down a well; you'll hit higher.

  135. Death and taxes may be certain, but we don't have to die every year.

  136. Destiny is not a matter of chance; it is a matter of choice.

  137. Doing nothing gets pretty tiresome because you can't stop and rest.

  138. Don't give other people a piece of your mind unless you can afford it.

  139. Don't wait for your ship to come; swim out to it.

  140. Don't worry too much about what people think, because they seldom do.

  141. Don't wrestle with pigs; you get dirty and they enjoy it.

  142. Education is learning a lot about how little you know.

  143. Education should include knowledge of what to do with it.

  144. Every accomplishment starts with the decision to try.

  145. Every person in the world is either a missionary or a mission field.

  146. Every survival kit should include a sense of humor.

  147. Few blame themselves until they have exhausted all other possibilities.

  148. Flowers are the poetry of earth, as stars are the poetry of heaven.

  149. Footprints on the sands of time are never made by sitting down.

  150. For people who like peace and quiet; a phoneless cord.

  151. Foresight is knowing when to shut your mouth before someone suggests it.

  152. Free advice generally costs more than the other kind.

  153. Frustration is when you have ulcers but still aren't a success.

  154. Go as far as you can see, and when you get there, you will see farther.

  155. Happiness is often the result of being too busy to be miserable.

  156. He was a how thinker, not an if thinker.

  157. He who hesitates is not only lost, but miles from the next exit.

  158. Hear the other side.

  159. Horsepower was a wonderful thing when only horses had it.

  160. Hyperpolysyllabicomania is a fondness for big words.

  161. I shot an arrow into the air, and it stuck.

  162. I wash everything on the gentle cycle. It's much more humane.

  163. I'll always cherish the initial misconceptions I had about you.

  164. I've tried relaxing, but - I don't know - I feel more comfortable tense.

  165. If God is your partner, make your plans large.

  166. If at first you do succeed - try to hide your astonishment.

  167. If it isn't one thing, it's another, unless it's neither.

  168. If it weren't for the last minute, nothing would get done.

  169. If people said what they thought, most conversations would be very brief.

  170. If you are going to try cross-country skiing, start with a small country.

  171. If you chase two rabbits, both will escape.

  172. If you do what you've always done, you'll get what you've always gotten.

  173. If you want a place in the sun, you've got to expect a few blisters.

  174. In a negotiation, he who cares less, wins.

  175. In every fat book there is a thin book trying to get out.

  176. Is life worth living? That depends on the liver.

  177. It is better to how nothing than to learn nothing.

  178. It makes no difference whether you win or lose until you lose.

  179. It seems confusing that narrow-minded people are thick headed.

  180. It was such a primitive country we didn't even see any joggers.

  181. It's easy to get lost in thought if it's not familiar territory to you.

  182. It's hard to be nostalgic when you can't remember anything.

  183. Knowledge become power only when we put it into use.

  184. Knowledge is not what the pupil remembers but what he cannot forget.

  185. Live not for time, but eternity.

  186. Man has now conquered almost everything in nature except human nature.

  187. Many men boast of having an open mind, when it is only vacant.

  188. Misers make wonderful ancestors.

  189. Most people know how to keep silent but few of us know when.

  190. My mind's made up - don't confuse me with the facts.

  191. Never engage in a battle of wits with an unarmed person.

  192. Never let a computer know you're in a hurry.

  193. Never let your studies interfere with your education.

  194. Never mistake endurance for hospitality.

  195. No dream comes true until you wake up and go to work.

  196. Nothing of importance is ever done without a plan.

  197. Nothing relieves the monotony of a job like finding ways to improve it.

  198. Old mufflers never die, they just get exhausted.

  199. Old termites never die. They just get board and lumber on.

  200. Patience is what you require when the fish are not hungry.

  201. Patton's Law: A good plan today is better than a perfect plan tomorrow.

  202. People who can agree on what's funny can usually agree on other things.

  203. People will believe anything if you whisper it.

  204. Plan for today as well as for tomorrow.

  205. Plan in marble if you would work in stone.

  206. Plan your work. Work your plan.

  207. Punctuality is disappointing if no one is there to appreciate it.

  208. Reforms come from the bottom. No man with four aces requests a new deal.

  209. Regarding trade relations, most people would like to.

  210. Running is an unnatural act, except from enemies & to the john.

  211. Science opens to us the book of nature; comedy, the book of human nature.

  212. Secular education can make men clever, but it cannot make them good.

  213. Self-determination is fine but needs to be tempered with self-control.

  214. Silence is golden when you can't think of a good answer.

  215. So far the only successful substitute for brains is silence.

  216. So near and yet so what?

  217. Some men go through a forest and see no firewood.

  218. Some people cause happiness wherever they go; others whenever they go.

  219. Some people jump to conclusions while others dig for facts.

  220. Some peoples heads are particularly suited to handle empty praise.

  221. Some pursue happiness - others create it.

  222. Someday is not a day of the week.

  223. Sometimes we are limited more by attitude than by opportunities.

  224. Sometimes we miss happiness by looking too far for things nearby.

  225. Spellers of the world, untie!

  226. Stand still and silently watch the world go by - and it will.

  227. Strategy is when you run out of ammunition but keep firing anyway.

  228. Success comes before work only in the dictionary.

  229. Success is more dependent on the backbone than the wishbone.

  230. Talk is cheap because supply exceeds demand.

  231. The beginning of wisdom is silence. The second step is listening.

  232. The best way to bluff is to keep your mouth shut.

  233. The biggest block to any man's success is in his head.

  234. The bird of paradise alights only upon the hand that does not grasp.

  235. The closest anyone ever comes to perfection is on a job application form.

  236. The difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has its limits.

  237. The fire of glory is the torch of the mind.

  238. The foolish and the dead are the only ones who never change their opinion.

  239. The hardest work is being idle.

  240. The heart of education is the education of the heart.

  241. The inability to make a decision has often been passed off as patience.

  242. The man who wakes up and finds himself famous hasn't been asleep.

  243. The most effective answer to an insult is silence.

  244. The nicest thing about the future is that it comes one day at a time.

  245. The person who sings his own praise is probably a soloist.

  246. The person who thinks too little usually talks too much.

  247. The person with nothing to do always gives it his personal attention.

  248. The relationship of editor to author is knife to throat.

  249. The shortest distance between two points is usually under repair.

  250. The silver lining is always easier to find in someone else's cloud.

  251. The tanned appearance of many Londoners is not a sunburn- it is rust.

  252. The two hardest things to handle in life are failure & success.

  253. The way to kill time profitably is to work it to death.

  254. The wheel that squeaks the loudest is the first to be replaced.

  255. There are so many ways of being a fool that it's hard to avoid them all.

  256. There is a difference between a reason that sounds good and good reason.

  257. There is no right way to do a wrong thing.

  258. There is nothing like sealing a letter to inspire a fresh thought.

  259. Those who are afraid of doing too much always do too little.

  260. Time is nature's way of keeping everything from happening at once.

  261. To err is human, but it is against company policy.

  262. To get nowhere, follow the crowd.

  263. To get to heaven, turn right and keep straight.

  264. To have more, desire less.

  265. To reach a great height a person needs to have great depth.

  266. Today's mighty oak is yesterday's little nut that held its ground.

  267. Torture the data long enough and they will confess to anything.

  268. Turn your stumbling blocks into stepping stones.

  269. We generally admire the wisdom of those who come to us for advice.

  270. What I said never changed anyone. What they understood did.

  271. What the fool does in the end, the wise man does in the beginning.

  272. When a person is always right, there is something wrong.

  273. When the going seems easy, you may be going downhill.

  274. When you don't have an education, you've got to use your brains.

  275. Why is there so much month left at the end of the month?

  276. Wisdom consists of letting the non-essentials pass by.

  277. Worry takes as much time as work and pays less.

  278. You can lead a car to a highway, but you can't make it think.

  279. You can't steal second base and keep one foot on first.

  280. You never have to worry about contradictions when you stick to the facts.

  281. You're entitled to your own opinion, even if it is wrong.


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