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    - D -
  1. James Bond is an imperialist, misogynist sociopath who goes around bedding women, swilling martinis and killing people. He's repulsive.
       Matt Damon, American Actor, who plays character Jason Bourne, 2009

  2. They're treating him like Elvis.
       Eddie Davis, banjo player, describing crowd reaction to Woody Allen's clarinet playing during a European tour, 1996

  3. The child that you send over is nothing like the child that comes back to you.
       Christine Delisa, Mother of a wounded U.S. Soldier wounded in Iraq, 13November1997

  4. Paint the top end red, then dab white and black with a small sponge to give the "ash" effect.
       Democratic National Committee, from instructions on making a "Mr Butt Man" walking cigarette to follow around Republican Presidential Candidate Bob Dole, 1996

  5. We're in uncharted territory here...
       Dan Dierdorf, ABC sports commentator, preparing to announce the first womens' professional boxing match on network television (Won by Yvonne Trevino), 1997

  6. I was born in nineteen-seventeen. There weren't even paved roads back then. I started doing stand-up comedy in 1955, when I was thirty-seven yearn old. And in those days, thirty-seven was just ancient. Before that I was terribly busy being pregnant, which was optimum because I had something to bitch about. And all comedy is bitching. If everything goes well, you have no comedy.
       Phyllis Diller, Comedienne, in a interview, 1996

  7. The Dixie Chicks do not advocate premeditated murder, but love getting even.
       Dixie Chicks, country music group, 'legal' disclaimer on music CD liner notes, 1999

  8. Something may be dripping, some tiles may collapse, doesn't mean the entire Games are bad.
       Sheila Dixit, Chief Minister of Delhi, India, on complaints over construction for the Commonwealth Games, 2010

  9. At least she's the president of something, which is more than I can say.
       Bob Dole, US Senate Majority Leader, on his wife Elizabeth, president of the American Red Cross, 1995

  10. If something happened along the route and you had to leave your children with Bob Dole or Bill Clinton, I think you would probably leave them with Bob Dole.
       Bob Dole, US Senate Majority Leader and presidential candidate, speaking about himself in the third person, 1996

  11. I admit Dole would have the kids asleep earlier.
       Justin Schorr, NYC parent, on what it would be like to have Bob Dole as a fill-in parent, 1996

  12. ...make us eat our vegetables, do our homework, and turn off the TV whenever it became violent or sexy.
       Jonathan Lange, age 10, from Easton, PA, on what it would be like to have Bob Dole as a fill-in parent, 1996

  13. You know, a better man for a better America. That's sort of our slogan.
       Bob Dole, Republican Presidential Nominee, on C-Span, 1996

  14. The Brooklyn Dodgers had a no hitter last night.
       Bob Dole, Republican Presidential Nominee, four decades after the Dodgers moved to Los Angeles, 1996

  15. Just tap into my web page at
       Bob Dole, Republican Presidential Nominee, the first person to mention a URL in a presidential debate, 1996

  16. You feel a little older in the morning. By noon I feel about 55.
       Bob Dole, former US senator and Republican Presidential Candidate, 1996

  17. At least she's the president of something, which is more than I can say.
       Bob Dole, US Senate Majority Leader, on his wife Elizabeth, president of the American Red Cross, 1995

  18. Elizabeth's back at the red cross, and I'm walking the dog.
       Bob Dole, on the Today Show, describing life after the elections, 1997

  19. Once they realized it was a humanitarian gesture, they jumped on it.
       Patrick Dordan, UPS Deliveryman, who suggested that his company fly the killer whale used in the movie 'Free Willy' to Oregon for rest and recuperation (which they did with a C-130 cargo plane), 1996

  20. I woke up this morning praying it had turned, but it was still there, like a bloodhound.
       Michael C. Dow, Mayor of Mobile, Alabama, on Hurricane Ivan, September 15th, 2004

  21. This started off as a father-daughter adventure, and it's gotten wonderfully out of hand...I'm going to fly till I die.
       Jessica Dubroff, 7 year old American pilot, speaking prophetically to the Times of London, before her fatal plane crash, 1996

  22. I don't even think about not having a leg.
       Natalie Du Toit, South African Olympic distance swimmer, and the first amputee to qualify for the Olympics, 21Aug2008
  23. - E -
  24. I don't know what I'll be coming back to. I have nothing.
       Arma Eaglin, Galveston, Texas resident, after flooding caused by hurricane Ike, 14Sept2008, in the Sun-Sentinel

  25. I think there are only three things America will be known for 2,000 years from now when they study this civilization: the Constitution, jazz music, and baseball.
       Gerald Early, writer, baseball documentary, 1994

  26. When you're dancing with a bear, you have to make sure you don't get tired and sit down. You've got to wait till the bear is tired before you get a rest.
       Joycelyn Elders, essay in the New York Times, September 14th 1993
  27. All I hear from Washington is that trade is a win-win proposition,Then I look at our growing trade deficit and think about the 3,400 good people in our good factories that we had to let go, and I want someone to show me where we have won. We're talked to by Washington as if we hadn't a brain in our heads.
       John A. Emrich, chief executive of Guilford Mills, Greensboro, NC, November 2nd, 2004

  28. - F -
  29. I wanted to remind stockbrokers what real stock is.
       Joe Fafard, sculptor, whose work "The Pasture" features cast bronze cows in Toronto's financial district, 1996.

  30. I simply decided I had enough money.
       Charles Feeney, wealthy anonymous benefactor, on why he has donated $600 million to selected charities, 1997.

  31. Rule 1: Be a creature unlike any other.
       Ellen Fein and Sherrie Schneider, authors, from THE RULES: Time-Tested Secrets for Capturing the Heart of Mr. Right, 1995

  32. Rule 5: Don't call him and rarely return his calls.
       Ellen Fein and Sherrie Schneider, authors, from THE RULES: Time-Tested Secrets for Capturing the Heart of Mr. Right, 1995

  33. Rule 20: Be honest but mysterious.
       Ellen Fein and Sherrie Schneider, authors, from THE RULES: Time-Tested Secrets for Capturing the Heart of Mr. Right, 1995

  34. If mothers ruled the world, there wouldn't be any god-damned wars in the first place.
       Sally Field, American Actress, upon accepting an Emmy Award, 17Sept2007

  35. There's a fine line between boxing and chaos.
       Gordon Fink, Deputy Attorney General, aftr Mike Tyson bit off part of Evander Holyfield's ear during a championship fight, 1997.

  36. Generally when there's a lot of smoke...there's just a whole lot more smoke.
       George Foreman, boxer and sports comentator, before a fight between Riddick Bowe and Hector Gonzales, 1995

  37. These guys from the nation's capital - now they do a lot of thinking.
       George Foreman, referring to boxers from D.C., not politicians, 1996

  38. Let the other guy have whatever he wants before the fight. Once the bell rings he's gonna be disappointed anyway.
       George Foreman, relating boxing advice he received from Archie Moore on posturing before a fight, 1996

  39. You moon the wrong person at an office party and suddenly you're not 'professional' any more.
       Jeff Foxworthy, comedian, 1995

  40. I have never been jealous. Not even when my dad finished fifth grade a year before I did.
       Jeff Foxworthy, comedian, 1995

  41. The grave environmental crisis facing our world demands an ever greater sensitivity to the relationship between human beings and nature.
       Pope Francis in the Independent, 2015

  42. I always felt rock and roll was very, very wholesome music.
       Aretha Franklin , queen of soul, 1995

  43. It's so glamorous, you have to see it.
       Aretha Franklin , queen of soul, describing the $92 million Rock & Roll Hall of Fame, 1995

  44. It is no more acceptable to make a fat joke than to make a gay joke. People need to learn to take everyone as they are.
       Dawn French, British Comedienne and Actor, 2009

  45. I really think that sex always looks kind of funny in a movie.
       William Friedkin, Director, 1995

  46. Violence is not funny.
       William Friedkin, Director, 1995

  47. I'm not going to allow you to parade witnesses who are from the planet Mars.
       Hiroshi Fujusaki, Los Angeles superior court judge, to defense attorneys in the O.J. Simpson civil trial, 1996.

  48. - G -
  49. Satisfaction Guaranteed or Double Your Garbage Back.
       Garbage Truck, Cambridge, Massachusettes, 1997

  50. Free lifetime snow removal.
       Garbage Truck, Ft. Lauderdale, Florida, 1998

  51. Well, she is bigger than the other girls out there.
       Ann Gardner, New Mexico resident, regarding Akicia Machado, Miss Universe, told by officials to lose weight or lose her crown, 1996

  52. I was looking for an American symbol. A Coca-Cola bottle or a Mickey Mouse would have been ridiculous, doing anything with the American flag would have been insulting, and Cadillac hub caps were just too uncomfortable.
       Lizzy Gardiner, Australian clothes designer, who wore a dress made of American Express gold cards to the Academy Awards, 1995

  53. The big danger is one of hubris. There's a tendency after you win your second term to think you're invulnerable. You're not just king of the mountain, you've mastered the mountain. That can often lead to mistakes of excessive pride.
       David Gergen, former presidential adviser. NYT Online Edition, 08-November-2004

  54. If I could find the guy who did this, I promise you I'd kick his butt.
       Matt Ghaffari, US Greco-Roman Wrestling Silver Medalist, about the person responsible for the Centennial Park bombing, Atlanta Olympics, 1996.

  55. I looked up and saw my flag. But I didn't hear my anthem.
       Matt Ghaffari, patriotic US Greco-Roman Wrestling Silver Medalist, about the award ceremony, Atlanta Olympics, 1996.

  56. It freshens your breath and helps prevent tartar.
       Mel Gibson, actor, while eating a dog biscuit at Harvard, 1996

  57. That's great - I'm only seven wins away from my first grand slam title.
       Justin Gimelstob,UCLA freshman, ranked 1,154 in the world, upon gaining a wildcard bid to the US Open Tennis Championships, 1995

  58. If Thomas Edison invented electric light today, Dan Rather would report it on CBS News as "candle making industry threatened".
       Newt Gingrich, US Congressman and House Speaker, 1995

  59. I'm not a natural leader. I'm too intellectual; I'm too abstract; I think too much.
       Newt Gingrich, US Congressman and House Speaker, 1995

  60. I discourage a cult of personality.
       Newt Gingrich, US Congressman and House Speaker, 1995

  61. We're all human and we all goof. Do things that may be wrong, but do something.
       Newt Gingrich, US Congressman and House Speaker, 1989

  62. It may just be because I get homesick, but I have concluded Washington's cherry blossoms are just plain overrated.
       Newt Gingrich, US Congressman and House Speaker, 1990

  63. I think one of the great problems we have in the Republican Party is that we don't encourage you to be nasty. We encourage you to be neat, obedient, loyal and faithful and all those Boy Scout words, which would be great around a campfire but are lousy in politics.
       Newt Gingrich, US Congressman and House Speaker, 1994

  64. You will be pleased to know I stand obediently for the national anthem, though of course I would defend your right to remain seated should you so decide.
       Ira Glasser, head of the ACLU, conversation with conservative William F. Buckley, 1994

  65. There is still no cure for the common birthday.
       John Glenn, US senator, former Marine and Astronaut, announcing his retirement at age 75, 1996

  66. I'll be candid with you. I had hoped to be back here this week under different circumstances, running for re-election. But you know the old saying: you win some, you lose some. And then there's that little-known third category.
       Al Gore, former US Vice President, and Presidential Candidate, at the Democratic National Convention in Boston, July 26th, 2004

  67. The climate crisis is not a political issue, it is a moral and spiritual challenge to all of humanity.
       Al Gore, former American Vice President and Environmental Activist, on being awarded the Nobel Peace Prize. 15October2007

  68. He has exposed Americans abroad and Americans in every US town and city to a greater danger of attack because of his arrogance and willfulness.
       Al Gore, former U.S. VIce President, on the actions of current president George W. Bush, 29May2007

  69. This system was designed for plain vanilla loans, and we were trying to push chocolate sundaes through the gears.
       Marc Gott, former Loan Director at Fannie Mae, on the collapse of the Mortgage Company, October 2008

  70. Half the world does not know the joys of wearing cotton underwear.
       Phil Gramm, US senator and presidential candidate, promoting US exports, as quoted in Time, 1996

  71. I have trouble listening to what he says sometimes because of the blood that drips from his teeth while he's talking.
       Alan Grayson, Democratic Congressman from Florida, comparing former U.S. Vice President Dick Cheney to a vampire, after his repeated re-appearances to criticize the current U.S. President, TIME Online edition, 2009

  72. These people have served a longer sentence than some people who have committed murder.
       Jeff Greenfield, news analyst, describing the jury in the OJ Simpson murder trial, 1995

  73. It is politically inconvenient to acknowledge what everyone knows: the Iraq war is largely about oil.
       Alan Greenspan, former Chairman of the U.S. Federal Reserve, 17September2007

  74. "Greenwashing"
       (term for misleading advertising suggesting products, practices or legislation are environmentally friendly, when they really aren't), Sept2008

  75. Please note that on page 124 of Abstraction in the Twentieth Century, Mark Rothko's Black, Ochre, Red over Red, is reproduced upside down.
       Guggenheim Museum, from an exhibit catalog, 1996

  76. - H -
  77. The problem isn't that people are trading and doing business. It's that people have taken this month to be a month of shopping.
       Sheik Ahmed Abdelaziz Haddad of the Dubai Islamic Affairs Department Official, on the commercialization of Ramadan in wealthy Arab states, October 2005

  78. I would like them to leave a little bit of New York for the old-timers.
       Fred Hakim, lunch counter owner, on Disney's face-lift of Times Square, New York, 1997

  79. Operations such as processing invoices and ordering supplies will be greatly curtailed now that we have no money.
       Mikki Halpin, editor of the Stim web 'zine, 1997.

  80. I'm somebody pretending to be somebody pretending to be somebody.
       Daniel Handler, a.k.a. Lemony Snicket, author of childrens' book series, 'A Series of Unfortunate Events", 2001

  81. It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas.
       Sandra Harding, US Postal Service Employee, commenting on the effects of a strike by UPS workers, August, 1997

  82. It irks me when people use the character's name in a demeaning way.
       Larry Harmon, AKA 'Bozo the Clown' after his stage name was used for political purposes by Bob Dole, 1996

  83. Casting directors can't get past thinking of me as a kid's show host, but I'd be the perfect dumpy, middle-aged college professor.
       Larry Harmon (Bozo the Clown) on future career options, 2001, in Time

  84. The face of the golden boy is amazing. It has magic and it has mystery.
       Zahi Hawass, Head of Egyptian Antiquities, on a re-creation of the face of Tutankhamun, 6November2007

  85. I think the outcome would be much as when Christopher Columbus first landed in America, which didn't turn out very well for the Native Americans.
       Stephen Hawking, British Physicist, on consequences of aliens visiting Earth, 2010

  86. There are only three ages for women in Hollywood--Babe, District Attorney, and Driving Miss Daisy.
       Goldie Hawn, actress, 1996

  87. I was with some Vietnamese recently, and some of them were smoking two cigarettes at the same time. That's the kind of customers we need!
       Jesse Helms, US Senator from North Carolina, at a dinner to promote the state's tobacco industry, 1996.

  88. Only the little people pay taxes.
       Leona Helmsley, hotel owner and prison inmate, 1989

  89. Good hours, excellent pay, fun place to work, paid training, mean boss. Oh well, four out of five isn't bad.
       Help Wanted Ad, Pennsylvania newspaper, 1994

  90. In our country they love to build beople up -- and SMASH them.
       Florence Henderson, (Mrs Brady), on Politically Incorrect 1995

  91. We need a president who's fluent in at least one language.
       Buck Henry, comedian, 1992

  92. I'm in good shape. If they invite me back next year, I'll be here.
       Manny Hershkowitz, 82-year-old ball-boy at the US Open Tennis Tournament, 1999

  93. That wrinkly, white-haired guy used me in his campaign ad, which I guess means I'm running for President. So thanks for the endorsement white-haired dude, and I want America to know I'm, like, totally ready to lead.
       Paris Hilton, American "Celebrity", in her video response to a television advertisement by Presidentail candiate John McCain, 06Aug2008

  94. The surge of interest in an unknown talent is unprecedented.
       Yoshitaka Hori, manager of Kyoko Date, a computer-generated teen-age Japanese pop singer, 1996

  95. I consider myself a civilian. I've done my time. I've got a brand new baby and a wife, and I haven't touched the controls of an aircraft in seven years. I'm 47 years old. How could they be calling me? How could they even want me?
       Rick Howell, former US Army helicopter pilot from Tuscaloosa, AL, on being called to active duty to fight in Iraq, seven years after he retired from the service, in the NY Times Online Edition, November 16th, 2004

  96. - I -
  97. I see the President and the First Lady are not here -- probably someplace testifying.
       Don Imus, at the Broadcaster's Hall of Fame banquet, shortly after being criticized for his not-quite-reprintable humor at the Clintons' expense, 1996.

  98. People think we make $3 million and $4 million a year. They don't realize that most of us only make $500,000.
       Pete Incaviglia, baseball player, 1990

  99. Asking an incumbent member of Congress to vote for term limits is a bit like asking a chicken to vote for Colonel Sanders.
       Bob Inglis, 1995

  100. We inherited the planet from our ancestors 3,000 years ago.
       Adam Ismail, one of three Yemeni men claiming ownership of Mars, and suing NASA for trespassing, 1997.

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