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Quotations #28:  from the Movies
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- J -

    The Jade Mask (1945)

  1. No barber shaves so close but another barber finds some work to do.
      Sidney Toler as Charlie Chan

  2. James and the Giant Peach (1996)

  3. Why don't skeletons play music in church? Because they got no organs.
      Richard Dreyfuss as Centipede

  4. I did live between two pages of The National Geographic. Very informative magazine, the National Geographic. Lots of nice pictures.
      Richard Dreyfuss as Centipede

  5. Jane Eyre (1996)

  6. Remember, the shadows are just as important as the light.
      Charlotte Gainsbourg as Jane Eyre

  7. Jarhead (2005)

  8. Every war is different, every war is the same.
      Jake Gyllenhaal as Anthony 'Swoff' Swofford

  9. or most problems the Marine is issued a solution. If ill, go to sickbay. If wounded, call a Corpsman. If dead, report to graves registration. If losing his mind, however, no standard solution exists.
      Jake Gyllenhaal as Anthony 'Swoff' Swofford

  10. The Earth is bleeding.
      Jake Gyllenhaal as Anthony 'Swoff' Swofford

  11. The Marine must learn to kill. He may wear a tattoo, or display his medals, or tell lies in bars. But he is not a true marine until he has seen combat.
      Jake Gyllenhaal as Anthony 'Swoff' Swofford

  12. Jason and the Argonauts (1963)

  13. If I had to punish every blasphemy, I would have no followers.
      Niall MacGinnis as Zeus

  14. The gods are best served by those who need their help the least.
      Niall MacGinnis as Zeus

  15. Jaws (1975)

  16. I'm not going to waste my time arguing with a man who's lining up to be a hot lunch.
      Richard Dreyfuss as Matt Hooper

  17. Well, this is not a boat accident! And it wasn't any propeller; and it wasn't any coral reef; and it wasn't Jack the Ripper! It was a shark.
      Richard Dreyfuss as Matt Hooper

  18. You have city hands, Mr. Hooper. You been countin' money all your life.
      Robert Shaw as Quint

  19. You're gonna need a bigger boat.
      Roy Scheider as Police Chief Martin Brody

  20. Mr. Vaughn, what we are dealing with here is a perfect engine, an eating machine. It's really a miracle of evolution. All this machine does is swim and eat and make little sharks, and that's all.
      Richard Dreyfuss as Matt Hooper

  21. The Jazz Singer (1927)

  22. Wait a minute, wait a minute, you ain't heard nothin' yet! Wait a minute, I tell ya! You ain't heard nothin'!
      Al Jolson as Jack Robin

  23. Jeremiah Johnson (1972)

  24. You're the same dumb pilgrim that I been hearin' for twenty days, and smellin' for three!
      Will Geer as Bear Claw Chris Lapp

  25. Can you skin Griz?
      Will Geer as Bear Claw Chris Lapp

  26. You've come far pilgrim.
      Will Geer as Bear Claw Chris Lapp

  27. The Jerk (1979)

  28. For one dollar I'll guess your weight, your height, or your sex.
      Steve Martin as Navin R. Johnson

  29. Good Lord - I've heard about this - cat juggling! Stop! Stop! Stop it! Stop it! Stop it! Good. Father, could there be a God that would let this happen?
      Steve Martin as Navin R. Johnson

  30. The new phone book's here! The new phone book's here! Page 73 - Johnson, Navin R.! I'm somebody now! Millions of people look at this book everyday! This is the kind of spontaneous publicity - your name in print - that makes people. I'm in print! Things are going to start happening to me now.
      Steve Martin as Navin R. Johnson

  31. He hates these cans. Stay away from the cans.
      Steve Martin as Navin R. Johnson

  32. I have my temporary driver's license and my astronaut application form. I didn't pass that though, I failed everything but the date of birth.
      Steve Martin as Navin R. Johnson

  33. I know we've only known each other four weeks and three days, but to me it seems like nine weeks and five days. The first day seemed like a week and the second day seemed like five days. And the third day seemed like a week again and the fourth day seemed like eight days. And the fifth day you went to see your mother and that seemed just like a day, and then you came back and later on the sixth day, in the evening, when we saw each other, that started seeming like two days, so in the evening it seemed like two days spilling over into the next day and that started seeming like four days, so at the end of the sixth day on into the seventh day, it seemed like a total of five days. And the sixth day seemed like a week and a half. I have it written down, but I can show it to you tomorrow if you want to see it.
      Steve Martin as Navin R. Johnson

  34. I am not a bum. I'm a jerk. I once had wealth, power, and the love of a beautiful woman. Now I only have two things: my friends and... uh... my thermos.
      Steve Martin as Navin R. Johnson

  35. Jerry MaGuire (1996)

  36. Twenty four hours ago, man, I was hot! Now I'm a cautionary tale. You see this jacket I'm wearing, you like it? Because I don't really need it. Because I'm cloaked in failure! I lost the number one draft picked the night before the draft! Why? Let's recap: Because a hockey player's kid made me feel like a superficial jerk. I ate two slices of bad pizza, went to bed and grew a concience!
      Tom Cruise as Jerry MaGuire

  37. Show me the Money!
      Cuba Gooding, Jr. as Rod Tidwell

  38. The key to this business is personal relationships.
      Jared Jussim as Dicky Fox

  39. Don't cry at the beginning of a date. Cry at the end, like I do.
      Bonnie Hunt as Laurel

  40. Look at me Laurel, I'm the oldest 26 year old in the world.
      Renee Zellweger as Dorothy

  41. You are hanging on by a very thin thread and I dig that about you!
      Cuba Gooding, Jr. as Rod Tidwell

  42. That's more than a dress. That's an Audrey Hepburn movie.
      Tom Cruise as Jerry MaGuire

  43. You had me at 'Hello.'
      Renee Zellweger as Dorothy

  44. Jewel of the Nile (1985)

  45. Just keep smiling. Maybe they'll think we're with National Geographic.
      Michael Douglas as Jack Colton

  46. Jimmy Neutron: Boy Genius (2001)

  47. We have to ask ourselves. What would Ultralord do?
      Jeffrey Garcia as Sheen

  48. All right, this is it. These crummy aliens stole our parents, it's time to show them what we're made of. We're tough, we're mean. Darnit, we're carbon based life forms. So, who's going to kick buttocks?
      Megan Cavanagh as Jimmy

  49. One day, Carl, an influx of hormones that we can't control will overpower our better judgment and drive us to pursue the female species against our will.
      Megan Cavanagh as Jimmy

  50. Johnny Dangerously (1984)

  51. The years hadn't softened Moronie. He continued to murder the English Language, and anyone who got in his way.
      Michael Keaton as Johnny Dangerously

  52. Did you know you're last name is an adverb?
      Marilu Henner as
  53. Lil

  54. I've been fulfilling a lot of people's prophecies about me; I've become a real scumbag.
      Joe Piscopo as Danny Vermin

  55. Johnny English (2004)

  56. A good agent doesn't need gadgets. The only gadgets I've ever needed are a sharp eye, sensitive hearing and a whole bunch of bigger brains.
      Rowan Atkinson as Johnny English

  57. As far as I'm concerned, the only thing the French should be allowed to host is an invasion.
      Rowan Atkinson as Johnny English

  58. Do you or do you not have tattooed on your bottom the words "Jesus is coming, look busy"?
      Rowan Atkinson as Johnny English

  59. The word "mistake", Sir, is not one that appears in my dictionary.
      Rowan Atkinson as Johnny English

  60. Jonathan Livingston Seagull (1973)

  61. I want to fly where no seagull has flow before. I want to know what there is to know about life!
      James Franciscus as Jonathan

  62. There's got to be more to life than fighting for fish heads!
      James Franciscus as Jonathan

  63. Son, this may not be the best life, but it's all we know.
      Richard Crenna / Dorothy McGuire as Father, Mother

  64. Heaven isn't a place; heaven is perfection.
      Philip Ahn as Chang

  65. You have the freedom to be yourself, your true self, here and now - and nothing can stand in your way!
      James Franciscus as Jonathan

  66. The only true law is that which sets us free.
      James Franciscus as Jonathan

  67. Journey to the Center of the Earth (1959)

  68. I don't sleep. I hate those little slices of death.
      Thayer David as Count Saknussem

  69. Never interrupt a murderer, madam.
      James Mason as Professor Oliver Lindenbrook

  70. The Joy Luck Club (1993)

  71. That bad crab, only you tried to take it. Everybody else want best quality. You, your thinking different. Waverly took best-quality crab. You took worst, because you have best-quality heart. You have style no one can teach. Must be born this way.
      Suyuan Woo as Kieu Chinh

  72. Only two kinds of daughter: obedient or follow-own-mind. Only one kind of daughter could live in this house: obedient kind.
      Suyuan Woo as Kieu Chinh

  73. This one moment would decide for my whole life whether fear would rule or I would. I decided. Underneath I knew who I was. I promised myself never to forget.
      Tsai Chin as Lindo Jong

  74. As is the Chinese cook's custom, my mother always insults her own cooking, but only with the dishes she serves with special pride.
      Tamlyn Tomita as Waverly Jong

  75. Jumanji (1995)

  76. That is just the beginning. I've seen things you've only seen in your nightmares. Things you can't even imagine. Things you can't even see. There are things that hunt you in the night. Then something screams. Then you hear them eating, and you hope to God that you're not dessert. Afraid? You don't even know what afraid is. You would not last five minutes without me.
      Robin Williams as Alan Parrish

  77. Don't ever call me crazy, Alan! Ever! 'Cause everyone in this town has called me crazy ever since I told the cops that you were sucked into a board game!
      Bonnie Hunt as Sarah Whittle

  78. Twenty-six years buried in the deepest, darkest jungle and I still became my father.
      Robin Williams as Alan Parrish

  79. Jurassic Park (1993)

  80. The lack of humility before nature that's being displayed here, uh, staggers me.
      Jeff Goldblum as Dr. Ian Malcolm

  81. I'm always on the lookout for the future ex-Mrs. Malcolm.
      Jeff Goldblum as Dr. Ian Malcolm

  82. Yeah, but your scientists were so preoccupied with whether or not they could, they didn't stop to think if they should.
      Jeff Goldblum as Dr. Ian Malcolm

  83. But, John. But if the Pirates of the Caribbean breaks down, the pirates don't eat the tourists.
      Jeff Goldblum as Dr. Ian Malcolm

  84. I'll tell you the problem with the scientific power that you're using here: it didn't require any discipline to attain it. You read what others had done and you took the next step. You didn't earn the knowledge for yourselves, so you don't take any responsibility for it. You stood on the shoulders of geniuses to accomplish something as fast as you could and before you even knew what you had you patented it and packaged it and slapped it on a plastic lunchbox, and now you're selling it, you want to sell it!
      Jeff Goldblum as Dr. Ian Malcolm

  85. God help us; we're in the hands of engineers.
      Jeff Goldblum as Dr. Ian Malcolm

  86. Ian: God creates dinosaurs. God destroys dinosaurs. God creates man. Man destroys God. Man creates dinosaurs...
    Ellie: Dinosaurs eat man. Woman inherits the earth...
      Jeff Goldblum / Laura Dern as Dr. Ian Malcolm / Dr. Ellie Sattler

  87. God help us; we're in the hands of engineers.
      Jeff Goldblum as Dr. Ian Malcolm

  88. I don't believe it! Hah! I don't believe it! You're supposed to come here and defend me against these characters and the only one I've got on my side is the bloodsucking lawyer!
      Richard Attenborough as John Hammond

  89. I don't blame people for their mistakes, but I do ask that they pay for them.
      Richard Attenborough as John Hammond

  90. Spared no expense.
      Richard Attenborough as John Hammond

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